I Wish I Was A Rampaging Queen

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

The Disappointing Quality

The taste has soured

Enchantment scattered

To the winds

Of an echo

No longer heard

The beauty once

Remembered

Not visible

Through the shell

Of bitter acid

A lifetime enclosed

In a mind rotted

With instigation

For the purpose

Of hurt

When the soul

Has flown free

Embittered

Will it continue

To be?

What legacy

Was left behind?

A bloodline

Of memories

Emotionally

Abused

Ready to carry on

To the next

Generation

The same

Acrid views

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Life's Hullabaloo

The seedy underbelly

Of a belly rubbed

The wrong way

The upside of it all

Is the growth of anatomy

To better a fake economy

Or so says he

The man

With a plan

Inferring

With his wee

The debased walking tall

At the beck and call

Of Decembers

Aging caterwaul

While May

May have

A little sweet

Not too far away

A sight to see

In this city

No need

To pity

The choices

Are open

To interpretation

Yes or no

To the invitation

I would cry

For the sadness

But the scene

Is so ridiculous

That I smirk

To hide my

Mirth

Oh to live

And die

On this earth

Nothing to do

But find the humor

In the antics

On the stage

Of the aging

Life's hullabaloo

And so would you

If you gazed upon it too

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Second Shower

Second shower of the day

Got caught in the pouring rain

Warmth pounding my skin

Elates the mood I'm in

Drops bead

Mirroring

My need

That power never fails

To impress

As it castigates and rails

Our frailty

Lightening screams out

My name

For we are the same

I feel it in my blood

As it surges

And floods

My synapses

Contained

Within this fragile shell

As the thunder

Rings my bell

And I smile

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Flourish Triumphantly

I've wandered free

As a bird did I fly

Watched as people

Flowed by

Dreamily

I meditated

As to how it would be

To be a tree

That I perched on

So happily

Rooted to

The mother of all

While being fed

With her love

Growing ever tall

So I've scratched

The earth you see

And settled in

Peacefully

Soaking the love

She surrounds me

With a little help from above

I will flourish

Triumphantly

Sunday, August 31, 2014

The Girl I Used To Be

The girl

I used to be

I find

'Ring around

The rosie'

Circles in

My mind

There are times

I wish

To open all

Expose wounds

The ones

I can recall

'Ashes, ashes'

Truncated

Memories

Short clips

Of histories

A broken doll

Who had

A jarring fall

From inception

Through

Progression

The cold nights

The screaming fights

'A pocket full

Of posies'

Poisoned pen

The innocence

Shaken

No consequence

Forsaken

But I can't

Not right now

It's the pain

The pain

Shattered glass

Fractured pane

Pieces missing

Life will never

Be the same

I was told

To let it go

Let it go

From my body

Let it flow

Shed it free

Free from me

But the child inside

Clings on

Desperately

Does it

Make me weak

That I can't speak

For the girl

I used to be?

I don't know

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Not

Echoes of time

Play on in clips

While drinking

Tea and eating

Potato chips

English

Not American

A lifetime sleeper

Bloats within

A heavy heart

A silent weeper

No amount

Of cider

English

Not American

Can account

Be balanced

Permanently

In the red

No worries

Tears are shed

Over strawberry jelly

American

Not English

In the dark

Somewhere

In a park

Out on her fanny

American

Not English

As luck

Would have it

Her middle name

Was 'Canny'

Monday, August 25, 2014

Beauty

In all things

A beauty

Do I see

Maybe it's

The poet

In me

There is a

Yin and a yang

To everything

But my eyes

Overlook the ugly

That springs

I can't deny

That it's there

Around the corner

Waiting for notice

The opposite

Complete polar

Shifts in the

Atmosphere

Blinded by light

I cannot hear

It's only the

The allure

That I see

It brings out

The attractive

And repulsive

In me

Saturday, August 23, 2014

My Adventures in Cautery (Part 3)

Almost Over

This part of my story

Is almost over

There's no glory

No splendor

Time flew slowly

Without a whir

It sloth-ed on

With no excuses

The hourly yawn

Of the clock

Had no concessions

Or allowances

The last few months

Have been a drain

A heavy heavy

Daily strain

With eyes on me

At every turn

Self-conscious

Awkward

Anxious

Doesn't even

Fully describe

The feelings

All the feelings

Swirling inside

There were times

I'd even forgotten

Walking around

With a smile

But then a stare

A glare

A smirk

From some

Female jerk

Would really

Really irk

I could read

The thoughts

On her face

Her delight

At the many spots

'Oh what a

Sad sad case'

Silent words

That clearly raced

Across her

Beaming mug

Acting a little smug

Maybe I'm

Over-sensitive

But whenever

I see that look

I want to scream

A damn expletive!

This is basically just a picture diary of my progress. I'm still doing and using the same procedures and products that I mentioned in Part Two. I've been consistent and haven't wavered. Below I've posted all pictures including the ones from Part One and Two.

I went ahead and included the links to Part One and Two

http://iwishiwasarampagingqueen.blogspot.com/2014/05/my-adventures-in-cautery-part-one.html

http://iwishiwasarampagingqueen.blogspot.com/2014/06/my-adventures-in-cautery-part-two.html

All photos starting from May 19th on were taken after washing my face. I used natural lighting and no make up (only lip balm because I hate dry lips) and no photo edits. All photos were taken with my iPad.

No difference probably between July 21 & July 29 because I decided to give my skin a break from peeling. Did not put anything on my skin besides coconut oil after washing but started my peeling program again on the evening of the 29th.

This is the final week that I will take pics. The spots are all almost completely faded and in a couple of weeks will be non-existent. I'm satisfied that peeling my skin weekly has helped speed the fading process. Will I do cautery again? I don't know...maybe but with more caution in the future. Two or three at a time not my entire face...that was a very bad idea I must say. :-/

Below taken same day as above pics but with make-up and soft lighting. Taken on the evening of the 23rd :-)

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Resolute

Let me tell you about a love

A love so true

Faithful, enduring

Through the good times

And the blue

Never before

Has this happened to me

Not in my dreams

And never in reality

A love that fit

With beauty and style

I thought this was it

Ten years is a long while

But as in all things

All good things must rend

For I've left behind my love

Somewhere in the west end

I will never ever

Find a fit as perfect again

But I will search

To the ends of this earth

And the whole world wide

No matter the girth

I'll stay my course, resolute

To find me another

Of those perfect high heeled boots

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Saccharine Smile

Deep in the psyche

Lurks a madness

A twisted

Serpentine sadness

A forger of thoughts

A spitter of spites

Through delighted beams

Plainly knowing it isn't right

Debauchery reigns

And lechery lies

Affecting sweet

Innocent doe eyes

But the flicker is there

Somewhere between

A second and a stare

All should be wary

Of the saccharine smile

The truth will out

Just watch and wait a while

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Sayonara

I've participated

Long enough

In this charade

Killing myself

For a measly dime

Of your time

That you oftentimes

Felt too great a task

To deliver on schedule

While I wait

Counting minutes

Lost to my past

Ages flying fast

Life carrying on

Without my attendance

Missing in action

Absent without an excuse

Yourself

Happy as a clam

While eating cake

Not giving a damn

As it sits prettily

On ice

Frozen

In its little box

Protected from the

Elements

But unknown

Inside a storm

Brews in a cup of tea

Growing immensely

Insurgent

No longer containable

An explosion

Of controlled madness

Erupts from within

'Sayonara motherfucker!'

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Remove My Love (Spoken Word)

I see no love
But arrangements
In disguise
Are they blind
Or are they wise?

Do they feel
The passion in my soul?
The thunder that rumbles
My body whole?

Remove my love
And I shall
Go insane
For without it
I am nothing
But a blood red stain
In a world
Shrouded in black rain
They will try to bleach me
Down the drain

A hollow shell
I shall become
My tears well
But will not succumb
No longer do I dwell
In this lifeless form
And sorrow cell

For without my love
I am but a spirit in the night
Howling a haunting tune
All dressed in white
Searching for my
Brave, strong knight
While the folks
The kinfolk
Lock their doors in fright

Copyright © Allene Angelica 2014