Blitz Attack

Tumescent

From the blitz attack

Gasped silent

An explosion of

Incandescent flames

Fiery heat

My tongue bears your name

Copyright © Allene Angelica 2014

I'm Undone

I'm undone

Memories come

Unbidden

Why not stay

Hidden

Tucked away

In the deepest

Recesses

Of my mind

My lips

Unkind

Spurt unfiltered

Thoughts

To unburden

My pain

Storming words

Thundering rain

It's not even

Worth it

Not even

A little bit

So why

Must I

Hurt

Copyright © Allene Angelica 2014

Nightmares

Trapped

In a maze

No way out

A mafia

Of circuitry

Buzzing

Buzzing

Buzzing

Flickering

Images

Moving

Pictures

Upstairs

My response

A ticker

Going pitter patter

In a cage

Ready to

Explode

As I rode

In a car

But couldn't

Get far

The buzzards

Circling

Turning heads

I scream

My eyes

Snap open

Thank God

I thought

I was broken

But they

Were just

Nightmares

Relief floods

As I stare out

At another

Cloud-filled

Day

Copyright © Allene Angelica 2014

Whet

I live

And breathe

For

The surge

That flows

Through

My cells

That sizzles

My nerves

That curls

My toes

That whets

My appetite

With

Every

Thought

Of

You

Copyright © Allene Angelica 2014

Horseshoe Simile

Though you smile

Lips upturned

Horseshoe simile

The sadness inside

Jogs out for miles

I sit in quiet solitude

Waiting

For you

To open up to me

You pivot away

To adjust your facade

Speaking of lightness

And gaiety

But, behold, your eyes

They tell no lies

They declare

Your misery

Copyright © Allene Angelica 2014

Three Little Things

I was asked to participate in the #threelittlethings challenge on G+.  (I decided to copy it on to my blog to record what was important to me at this stage of my life.)  Basically, it is to list three things a day for three days, for which I am grateful, and invite three people to do the same.  (I left the names out of the blog.). I'm starting my first day with the heavies...

The three things I'm grateful for:

Day one:

1. Meeting my love, Phil Hall.

2. My children; Angelique, Shane and James.

3. My life

The three things I'm grateful for on this second day of #threelittlethings are:

Day Two:

1. My health, so far so good.  Knock on wood.

2. My hat, protects me from the burning rays of the sun and just all

    around cool.  :-)

3. My iPad, with it I have written countless poems and started

    many a story.  Some I've completed but many more unfinished.

The three things I'm grateful for on this third and last day of my #threelittlethings challenge are:

Day Three:

1. My pocket wifi - Internet wherever I go...as long as there is a signal.  (Can't

    stop the signal Mal. - 'Serenity' movie reference for all not in the know ;-p )

2. Sunscreen - Speaks for itself

3. Mosquito Repellent - Keeps the bloodsucking bitches away from

  me...ooops...did I say that?  I meant unwanted pests... (It's the female of

  the species that drinks blood.)

Green

The blood

Has blackened green

It runs greedily

Through their veins

No time to congeal

As they conjure

Magically steal

Eyes burn

Can see no more

I'm ashamed

This is what I came for?

So sad

It's too bad

Nothing good

Ever comes

From

The gimmies

I don't care

How much you shimmy

The lyrics

'I give to the needy

And not the greedy'ª

On replay

In my head

Sometimes

I feel like

This world

Is better off

Dead

Copyright © Allene Angelica 2014

ª'My Lovin' - En Vogue 1992

I Shall Roam

The world is beckoning

Enticing me to explore

Oh, I would if I could

I would walk out that door

Then reality sets in

I have responsibilities

I can not give in

But squelching the desire

Is not good for the soul

I must feed the fire

Even if only a little

To see the world

Is my goal

One step, two steps

The third makes three

Where will my

First destination be?

Be it with friend

Be it with lover

Be it alone

I've taken my steps

The world

I shall roam

Copyright © Allene Angelica 2014

Formidable Foe

Time

A formidable foe

As I gaze

At this scene

So quiet

And serene

Lush

In its

Tropical greens

I long

To explore

This wild

Landscape

My dreamy

Escape

From the

Confines

Of my

Solitary mind

My laughter

Echoing

From

The tree tops

As I break

Another of

My flip flops

Stomping

Skipping

Tip-toeing

In this scene

Of

Tropical greens

Smiling

Sunbeams

Copyright © Allene Angelica 2014

My Adventures in Cautery (Part Two)

*** Caution - Before attempting to try to do any of the following treatments that I've described below...please...please...please...do a patch test before using any of these products on your entire face. ***

On May 19th, I started an intense beauty regimen of at home peeling and whitening to aggressively fade the brown spots/scars on my face.  Three nights a week (Mon-Wed) I swiped on a peeling agent that contained tretinoin (Tretinoin is the carboxylic acid form of vitamin A and is also known as all-trans retinoic acid or ATRA. - Wikipedia) and hydroquinone (In human medicine, hydroquinone is used as a topical application in skin whitening to reduce the color of skin. - Wikipedia) (each 100mL contains 25mg of tretinoin and 2g of hydroquinone) over my entire face like you would a toner or astringent with a cotton pad.  The rest of the week I gave my skin a break from the product.  And it's in those days when my skin would peel.  The peeling was annoying because it was unsightly but it gave me the deepest satisfaction.  The top layers of my epidermis where the spots were the darkest was peeling off and revealing a new layer of lighter skin underneath.  During the day after I washed my face I used an intense whitening facial serum that contains glutathione (Glutathione has recently been used as an inhibitor of melanin in the cosmetics industry.) and vitamin C, which I applied over my entire face.  I used it in conjunction with a placenta cream (animal placenta...I know gross right?).  Hey but if it works, it works.  The placenta cream I dabbed directly on to the spots.

I had also started washing my face as soon as I was able, which was about three days after the procedure, with a whitening soap.  They have a ton to choose from here.  The one I chose was manufactured in Japan and it contains kojic acid.  (Kojic acid is a by-product in the fermentation process of malting rice. - Wikipedia)

*** I avoided the sun as much as possible.  I wore a hat whenever I had to go outside.  The last thing I needed was for these spots to get darker. ***

Below all pictures were taken of me with a freshly washed face and absolutely no make-up in front of my window using natural light.

Photos of me taken May 19, 2014

Photos of me taken May 26, 2014

Photos taken of me June 2, 2014

Photos taken of me June 10, 2014

The spots are fading nicely.  It's only been a few weeks since I started the peeling and whitening treatments but there is a marked improvement on my skin.  I'm confident that in a few more weeks the spots will have faded completely.  The key to this whole process is patience and diligence.  The patience to stay safe and not to overdo/abuse the treatments and to be diligent in doing the treatments regularly and not be discouraged.  And most importantly SUNSCREEN!!!  I'll keep my fingers crossed for continued success.  :-)

(This poem I wrote May 18, 2014 when I received a phone call that my out of town cousins, they live on another island, were in town and three of them whom I had never met before were excited to meet me.  :-(  Feel my panic...)

Panic

I'm in a panic

Surprise!!!

Skin's looking tragic

Where can I hide?

Out of town family

Dragging me out

To play outside

Copyright © Allene Angelica 2014

Another poem I wrote about my predicament.  Written June 5, 2014.

My Mirror

My mirror

She tells no lies

As she scrutinizes

With those intense cunning eyes

'Look at what you've done!'

She accuses

'We've had no sun!

These beautiful days have just gone by

With no merry or rye.

Look at you!

You're so pale

And I swear you appear

More fragile and frail'

But I can't see

I don't believe that's me

'Of course not you silly fool!

Sitting in the dark

Trying to stay cool'

But these awful spots

Ugly brown dots

Scattered here and there

I can't play outside

I don't dare!

Copyright © Allene Angelica 2014

Anxious Respite

Impatient fantasy

Of splendid skies

Bare toes tickled

By verdant turf

Giggles and

Flights of fancy

I toss disarray

In my comfort

Nakedness

Lips parted

In thirst

Impatient

For this interlude

To call it a day

I hunger

For the beginning

Where my blood

Flows below

Earth drenched

In DNA

From whence

I started

I have returned

In anxious respite

Awaiting the arrival

Of my co-conspirator

My partner

My dreamer

My life

Copyright © Allene Angelica 2014

Reality and a Breezeway

I've been away

My mind

Teetering

Between

Reality and a breezeway

Meters and kilometers

Cold hard cement

And bricks of red

I'm feeling bent

Oh I know

I'm not making

Any sense

But I'm reeling

I'm so close

To screaming

What I wish to say

But I think

I'll leave that

For another day

Copyright © Allene Angelica 2014

Thursday

The days have flown by

With eventful skies

Thunder and lightning

Have been entertaining

As I sat by my window

And witnessed the night glow

Zeus roared his mighty roar

As his potent bolt soared

Across the inky blackness

It brought on such happiness

I could not describe

Copyright © Allene Angelica 2014

The Final...Grunt

You are absurd madam

With your high-handed

Speeches

And your grasping

Clasping claws

You think you're

Bom chicka wah wah

Flirting with every

Cock-a-doodle-do

Even the ones

That have said 'I do'

When in fact

You're just a silly

Sad and lonely putti tat

Looking for your fat cat

That will never come

Ahhh...but maybe

He will

And I'll be

Proven wrong

But then again...

After the final...grunt

And you're thinking

He's forever yours

He might say

'I've gotta run

To the store

Don't worry

I'll be back'

And you'll see him

Nevermore

Isn't that

How the story goes...

Copyright © Allene Angelica 2014

My Adventures in Cautery (Part One)

To all who are unfamiliar with the Philippines and their beauty culture well let me tell you a brief story of one of my experiences and yes there will be pictures...before and after.  Here in the Philippines the beauty industry is prevalent.  They have clinics galore, that are commonly called 'dermas' and most services are very affordable.  Let's just say, I'm in heaven.

This particular story involves cautery.  If you are not familiar with cautery it's when tissue is burned off, destroyed, through the use of electric current.  As we age, some of us develop skin tags or some type of non-life threatening cosmetic skin anomaly.  Well, I had a couple of skin tags forming on my right eyelid and one below my left eye.  So, I went in to one of those clinics to get an estimate for their removal.  The doctor took me into his examination room and looked at my skin through one of those magnified lamps.  He said I had several anomalies forming throughout my face and I should have them all removed.  (Although, personally I couldn't see any of the anomalies he mentioned.  Must have been microscopic...  The skin on my face looked as smooth as a baby's bottom, ok maybe wrong analogy.  Well anyhoo, the only thing I thought that disrupted my skin's smoothness were the skin tags on my right eyelid and the one below my left eye.)  I told him of my skin history and asked how long the recovery will take.  He said within a week the wounds would heal and within a month my skin will be better than before.  Well that appealed to my vanity.  Darned vanity!  I left the office to think about it and three days later went back in to have the procedure done.

That day was Monday, May 5, 2014.  The procedure itself was not painful.  He used a topical anesthetic cream thirty minutes before beginning.  I kept my eyes closed the entire time and could only hear the buzzing of the tool he used to zap whatever he was zapping.  After the procedure he told me to go straight home and not to touch my face or wash it for the next twenty-four hours.

That night my face ballooned to twice its size and when I woke up in the morning puss that had been leaking out overnight had dried up on the wounds.  Gross!!!  I called the doctor and he told me to come back to his clinic without washing my face so he could take a look at it.  I went in wearing a scarf and hat to cover my entire head along with big dark sunglasses...hahaha...  (Incognito)  He cleaned my face gave me an anti-inflammatory medication and told me to go back home and once again not to touch my face or wash it and then come back again the next day.

Well the next day my face had ballooned to three times its size and I was no longer recognizable.  I looked like a cartoon character.  If I died they wouldn't be able to visually identify me.  They would need dental records or a DNA test.  That's what was going through my mind as I stared horrified at the image that stared back at me in the mirror.  I did not go back to the doctor's office that day nor have I since.  There was no way I was going to walk about in public with weeping sores and that hideously bloated face.

It took over a week for the swelling and the weeping (the wounds and me) to finally settle down and my face to actually look normal again, except for the scarring or brown spots; I was left with brown spots all over my face.  How long that would take to fade I had no clue but I was determined to get rid of them sooner rather than later.

Now I know you all are curious as to how I looked during the swollen period, as I call it, I'm sorry to disappoint but I did not take selfies of myself at that stage.  Are you kidding me?  I wanted no reminders of that grotesque looking face and if it ever got in the wrong hands...well...blackmail city...let me tell ya!  I could always deny it was me, I WAS unrecognizable...except for my mole.  Darned mole!  Just kidding, I love my mole even though at one time I conducted an experiment to remove it using apple cider vinegar and blogged about it.  Thank goodness it was an epic fail.  I was just recently told that there are old beliefs that my mole is good luck...I inhale money they say...meaning I acquire money easily.  Well, ain't that somethin'!  If only it were true...

I did take a couple of selfies a week and a half after the procedure.  The swelling was completely gone but the spots are highly visible.  Surprisingly the spots on my eyelid have already faded.  What does that tell ya?  I should have stuck to my guns and told the doctor to just do the ones I asked for in the first place.

To be fair, I had watched several of my friends have this procedure done and none of them had any ill effects.  Nope, nada.  They had the procedure done one day and the next we were out shopping...go figure.  It's just me.  I seem to be the only ninny who had negative results.  Oh well, let's carry on, shall we...

{Part Two will be published in a few weeks}

(This poem was written during my 'swollen period'.  A dark time in my cautery adventure.)

My Monstrosity

I looked into the glass

I saw a beast reflected there

It gave me quite a scare

Maybe it was a glare

Or a light refracted square?

I screamed inside my mind

As bile wept

And so did I

Through the open sores

A lesson learned

To be remembered

For all of time

The fault

The fault is mine

I never should have

Gone in blind

I searched for probity

But all I found were lies

My vanity beguiled

Time is not my friend

Or is it?

Nor will I vilify

The cause of my

Monstrosity

When all I wished for

Was to beautify

Copyright © Allene Angelica 2014